So Much Can Go Wrong: Tropical Fish Edition

 At San Francisco State University, our Biology professor noted that he didn’t believe in any personal deity, and so we should take his terminology with a grain of salt. “But,” he said, “there is so much that can go wrong with the human body that it’s a miracle that any of us survive until birth.” As hospice workers, we get to see a lot of what can go wrong. In eight years of law enforcement chaplaincy, I think I saw most of all the other things that can go wrong.

 

To illustrate that, I looked up a list of all the things that need to go right in order to be a successful pet owner for tropical fish. According to those who admittedly want to sell you supplies and equipment related to keeping fish alive in your home, here’s the list:

 

1 – Get everything out of your household water that will kill your fish. Chlorine is just one of the many poisons that we tolerate, but that your fish will not.

2 – Don’t shock your fish with rapid temperature changes.

3 – Don’t shock your fish with sudden changes in their aquarium.

4 – Maintain a consistently proper pH and other chemical levels.

5 – Maintain a consistently proper temperature in the aquarium.

6 – Change 25% of the water monthly, without messing up any of the above.

7 – Clean the tank regularly so that all of the above are maintained without waste building up.

8 – Don’t put fish in with other fish that will kill and/or eat them.

9 – Also, don’t put fish in with other fish that they will kill and/or eat – because the uneaten remains of dead fish will violate #7 on the list.

10 – Don’t overfeed your fish, since it’s not just uneaten dead fish that will violate #7 on the list.

 

As hospice workers, we could compile a similar list for our patients, their friends and family members, caregivers and collaborators, and even our own team members. But here’s the point I’d like us to remember:

 

There is so much that can go wrong, that we will never give anyone “The Perfect Hospice Experience.” Still, providing them with hospice care is so much better than the alternatives that it wouldn’t be inaccurate to call it, if not perfect, then at least a miracle.